(This is an opinion piece. These are my educated opinions on any possible or probable outcome(s). As always, I do not support any illegal or unconstitutional activities.)
—THIS IS A PARODY—
—Anyone identifying with the things I say here should be ashamed. Not only for being a traitorous pseudo-American but for being an apathetic POS person in general—
I want to take a moment to thank our Great King, Our Savior, the Anointed One, Donald J. Trump. I can honestly think of no one who better embodies the teachings of Jesus Christ! Perfect for our country’s plan to protect the First Amendment right to Freedom of Religion—as long as that religion is Christianity only.
Although I would love to cover more topics like this one, they will have to be in future articles. There is simply SO MUCH GREATNESS HAPPENING!
Anyway, let’s touch on the elimination of fraud, waste, and abuse that is the entire US federal government.
Finally, someone GREAT has the god-like courage to endorse a bill to “trim” a wasteful program like Medicaid and save up to 880 billion dollars! Sure, over 4.5 trillion dollars will be part of the continuation of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, but that law primarily rewards those who work to Make America Great Again! True, the vast majority of that money goes to the wealthiest 10% of Americans, who really don’t need it. Oh, and also to the gigantic corporate tax cuts. But they are already safe, so please do not be concerned—I know that is critical for the less-than-half of us who own teeny-tiny bits of those companies. But that is Capitalism! I can’t wait to be trickled down on…
You must remember, we aren’t communists; we are capitalists! Unlike those RADICAL LEFTISTS, who are clearly Russian and Putin-loving Democrats!
This is obviously true because a meme on social media before the election showed Kamala Harris as “Komrade Kamala” and wearing a Russian hat! (It’s a true story.)
We, MAGA, would NEVER have taken a knee to Russian imperialism like those liberals! We would never have let those Commies and Ruskies attack the world unchecked! Thankfully, it turns out that after the election, Trump says they are now our friends. And THEY were the ones who were attacked!
How do I know this? When a peace-loving country was viciously attacked in 2022, our president sided with the victim country right away, even if the rest of the world was too chicken to do so. Just look at our Glorious Leader’s stern actions against the most heinous, Nazi-driven dictatorship to ever exist—Ukraine!
For too long (about two years, I guess), Zelensky has led his country without a vote! Their unprovoked attack on Russia cannot be ignored! Add in what he claims is in their Constitution—saying they can’t have elections while in a war for their very survival…
Dictator!
What is he afraid of? Russian election interference? That was a radical leftist hoax; it was already disproven on right-wing media! The liberals said Russia was interfering in our American elections, yet Trump got elected anyway! We The People!
Zelensky is just afraid that a man with a 90% approval rating in democratic Russia will be a better choice than his Nazi-like authoritarian regime. After all, Zelensky has only a 4% approval rating! Russia’s new territories in Ukraine overwhelmingly supported Russian rule—just look at the poll results!
Stop these Imperialist Ukrainians!
I am just glad to have a wildly popular, and certainly NOT a dictator, Vladimir Putin, on our side now. Thank you for your bold leadership, President Trump.
Luckily, that war ended—as promised—on January 21st, 2025. Just as the price of my groceries, especially those eggs J.D. Vance was complaining about, dropped AMAZINGLY. Thank you, President Trump; we knew you could do it!
Sorry, I get distracted sometimes. I am used to a torrent of non-fact-checked news coming my way from all the social media titans and right-wing news stations. I am glad all the social media titans are finally getting in line with “Freedom of Speech”—by bending the knee to Trump and getting rid of that liberal fact-checking nonsense. Finally, we (MAGA, a.k.a. the Real Americans) now control most of the major social media outlets— the only place to get REAL news. Plus, we can finally work to silence these “Free Speech Radicals” and their fake, fact-checked, peer-reviewed, propagandist “news stations.”
Anyway, back to saving money for the rich to get richer (GO capitalism!)
I can’t wait to see all those free-loading crybabies when Medicaid goes away or is at least in DOGE-like shambles, like the rest of our federal government. True, they say more red states rely on welfare than blue states do, but again,… fake news.
Start crying those enormous, crocodile, Lib-tard tears! Ha ha ha. It sucks to be you!
As every real economist and American knows—corporations, governments, and people in general thrive when faced with incredible uncertainty and massive job cuts. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger! With the strength we have received in only one month of our President’s lifelong rule, I can only imagine the prosperity of four whole years. Just imagine what another decade of his benevolent rule could bring us!
You know, if that is what We The People want… (We do, we do!)
If only we could get back to when women knew their place and supported their men unquestioningly. Throw in making 89% of Black people enslaved people again, like in our glorious past, and our country will prosper! Especially if we rescind their Constitutional rights to vote…
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
Well, I must run. I just found out they kicked my disabled, 95-year-old mom out of the nursing home and onto the street—because Medicaid got “right-sized” by DOGE.
And don’t worry, before I am deported (while holding a valid visa), I won’t spend a penny to help that non-working freeloader…
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If you are pro-MAGA and this offends you—good. It was meant to. Now, take a deep look into your rotted soul and correct the error of your ways…
